When my doctor’s told me I was pregnant they said jokingly (I think?) that I shouldn’t say too loudly that I got pregnant with PCOS while taking birth control or I might get run over in the parking lot.
It’s true that a large majority of women with PCOS will have difficulty ever getting pregnant and here I am, almost 36, diagnosed 2 years ago with PCOS as all the symptoms started showing their ugly heads, and “spontaneously” pregnant, as they so kindly word it.
So just how did this happen?
I am not one to take being “sick” lightly. My boyfriend and I were on what ended up being a 9 month break from our relationship (due to distance) when I was diagnosed. I did so much research myself online and ended up leaving the OB/GYN I was seeing and found the most amazing PA at a specialty office that deals with infertility and endocrine disorders. She spent over an hour with me explaining everything, we did a ton of blood work and tests and she follows up regularly. I wasn’t overweight (by her standards) and am not diabetic or anything else, but read a lot that diet and exercise was the best treatment, so I took up running and counted calories. I lost around 15+ pounds and was feeling better. My boyfriend and I got back together a few months later.
I have one child from a previous relationship, but he doesn’t have kids. Telling him that there was a good possibility I wouldn’t be able to give him a child was so hard, I’m tearing up just thinking about that day. He was so understanding and told me that he loved me and that he would never leave me because of that and he didn’t even know if HE could have kids. He did a lot of research himself and talked me into cutting gluten out of my diet as well, but unfortunately I got off my running routine for a good 8 months or so.
Fast forward to August. I started running again. I also cut down on carbs because I felt the gluten-substitutes were causing my weight to go up even faster. I lost 9 lbs. I was feel really good and gaining some confidence back.
September 24…I had an appointment for a routine yearly exam and they do an ultrasound as part of that. The ultrasound tech noticed two large cysts on my left ovary. She asked the assistant the date of my last period. August 31. She mentioned some thickening of the cervix. My heart started racing, but I calmed myself down by telling myself there was no way I was pregnant because I take the pill, have PCOS and only see my boyfriend usually one night a week.
When she left the room the assistant said it just looked as if I broke through the pill and was going to get my period a bit early. The PA I see came in and explained they would do blood work that day just to rule out pregnancy.
I spent the afternoon with my boyfriend and told him if I call him later to answer because I’m pregnant. Neither one of us were really expecting me to make that call. But not 20 minutes after I left his house, they called.
It was a very difficult first week. They told me my progesterone was low and it was either because I was so early in pregnancy it hadn’t gone up yet, or that I was losing the baby. I wasn’t planning this, but the thought I was possibly losing the one chance I may have at another child was so hard to think about. I did blood work 5 times that week and it came back showing the progesterone rising, however, I do still have to use progesterone suppositories. My thyroid hormone was also not doing what it’s supposed to and I’m not on synthroid as well. Last week we had a scan that showed a small tear drop of a gestational sac. Today our scan showed a flutter of a heartbeat. We are almost 6 weeks. Only our parents and a few close friends know.
My emotions have been all over. At first I was upset, I didn’t want anyone thinking I was careless or didn’t take my pill to try to “trap” my boyfriend. I was upset because if I ever had another child I wanted it to be planned and something we mutually decided and would be excited for. Instead it suddenly felt as if we were strangers. I cried so much the first week. We live an hour apart and I felt alone, like I was doing this by myself again. He JUST lost his job 5 days earlier. We were planning on moving across the country and now we can’t. And I felt immense guilt that I could get pregnant when so many women (including a good friend of mine) can’t.
But, my boyfriend is wonderful. We talked about things a little at a time. And now 2 weeks after our world was turned upside-down, we are talking about names. He jokes that if I wasn’t pregnant he would get me pregnant, he tells me he will always think I’m beautiful, even when I think I’m huge because I’m carrying his baby. He is so supportive and loving. He will be moving in with us soon and we are still planning to move, just not in the next 8 months. For me, this is a 180 from when I had my son and was alone the entire time, and I honestly couldn’t do this without him.
He gives me all the credit. He says it’s because I changed my diet and worked so hard and losing some weight. However, I truly believe a vital part in all this is the fact that he is also very healthy and strong. I hope that the women struggling with PCOS and fertility are all lucky enough to have a partner who is supportive and also working just as hard to be healthy as we have to.
My boyfriend mentioned our situation to a friend of his. She opened up about having PCOS herself and that she also got pregnant on the pill as did a good friend of hers.
I’m writing this post to share my story and to hopefully give hope to those struggling. I really don’t feel this would have been possibly had I not found the most amazing women to handle my care. I wish everyone could see her and talk to her. My boyfriend is amazing, and incredibly supportive as well.
I know we are a long way from seeing a healthy baby, but we are optimistic. I truly wish the best for anyone out there who reads this and I hope that in some way my story offers you help and support.